award winning media midwife + artist + producer + professor
Dave and I met tonight to discuss arranging the music for two of my songs, Senses Are True and It Is What It Is. I realize how much this process is like radio production yet distinctly more creative, with limitless range of expression to support the subjects in each presentation. Tonight we talked about crashing cymbals to symbolize the sounds of ocean waves off in the distance. This sonic experience is intended for a bridge which conveys a sense of being taken over by the enormity of challenging times. And yet, when we allow ourselves to go there, to be taken by what is actually happening, the waves eventually pass, they calm, only to come again. To face what is terrifying is an incredibly liberating act. We become braver than we knew possible, where we learn to allow the wave to take us. Making music has been like that for me. From inside the belly of that which seemed impossible, has been a visceral freedom, a gift, a chance of pure expression and ease,...even if for just a moment, or hopefully more. To be with what is so gut-wrenchingly uncomfortable and not try to change it or push it away, but just be with it allows for something profound to occur. The human capacity undeniably expands and grows when we know we don't know. In addition to our arrangement conversation, Dave and I talked about what it means to have a show. To get up in front of people to share something, vulnerably, from the soul. What it means to embrace the power of being a conduit of creative energy, as we all are, and at the same time hold a vision of those who will live far beyond this life, as if communicating with them in present form. We also talked about what it would mean to make it not mean so much and just take this tiny step forward into uncharted territory. And then, to acknowledge the skill of holding opposites all the time, without attachment to whatever it is.
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Dave and I just worked out the musical arrangement for my song, Senses Are True. As we were working, Dave said "the bridge is a fascinating break from the verse and chorus which is more jazzy, then the tune transitions into a sacred, Gregorian style sound." He was able to translate precisely what was in my brain to a music chart. This synergy helps us be incredibly productive and time efficient which is critical since I need to run and pick up my daughter from school. Family life keeps me in check - grounded in the truth of where I belong, who I am and what matters most in this life. And yet, to have discovered this ethereal, tangible avenue of pure expression for my soul's longing is liberation from a lifelong tunnel of questions upon questions of questions. Perhaps it is exactly that. Showing up for my family every day keeps me rooted. That is when my wings can dance and say YES to a song coming through the creativity sphincter in full force, Last night Dave and I co-produced, Trust Myself, in a cappella, but with multiple tracks of my voice. When I got up to the microphone I said, "Let's McFerrinize it". I love the way this song feels like a swarm of women are singing with me, in harmony and in unison, sparingly. I also love the message of this song. It was the first one that I wrote in February 2012. I remember trembling, hands slightly shaking with fear, while typing. It was an electric and mighty experience to channel the lyrics and melody into Garage Band at 1am, while my family was sleeping. At the kitchen table by candlelight, it came out in about 10 minutes. This morning as Jay and I got the kids ready for school I told him about the recording the night before and said, now that the demo is done, "I am not attached to what happens with my music and yet I have a very clear intention of spreading my songs far and wide. That said, the guiding force behind my writing, singing and producing of these songs is for our great-great grandchildren. Anything else beyond that is gravy." My husband nodded and said, "Good stuff, Ahrona". With that, I am sending strong visions of liberation from the inside out for myself and for all beings. Intend and then be flexible. Tonight I recorded the sounds of my children sleeping. My son was reading to his little sister in her bed. They fell asleep with open books all over them, with folded, unkempt pages just below their mouths. The rhythm of inhales and exhales sounded like a symphony of something so pure, like a honey moment held in time to be blended into the bridge of The Heart. Now the sounds of my children are captured, not only in the lyrics, but in the soundscape of the song. Perhaps they will listen as elders, remembering back to when they were young. There are moments in a recording session when everything lines up, as if there is a gateway to the universal force that makes everything possible. It is from there that a song is captured eternally. It lands clearly, efficiently, connected inside the context of YES powers. Everyone in the room feels it. This magic happened last night, with cajon drummer, Yari Mander, and rhythm guitarist, David Rosenfeld, on what would have been my grandparent's 65th wedding anniversary. It is an exhilarating experience to record and produce a song inspired by the distinctly exquisite relationship between me and my maternal grandmother, Bernice Friedman. I recently wrote the song Thank You on Mount Tamalpais in Mill Valley, California - the place of my marriage ceremony in 2003, It was also the last place I kissed and hugged my grandmother before she died in a sudden car accident 9 days later. She was wearing this jade ring when her body and spirit separated. The pink quartz ring was given to me by her when I was 13. Once Thank You is produced and ready to emerge, I pray that it evokes the profound power and potential of maternal lineage, and what is possible between a granddaughter and her grandmother, in this life and beyond. Tonight I'm going to see the legendary Leonard Cohen in concert in Oakland, CA at The Paramount Theater. He is a tremendous inspiration, most particularly for his thoughtful manner, and his electric poetry delivered through song with a humble demeanor of pure gratitude. His interview with the CBC made me a fan for life. My debut at The Red Devil Lounge in San Francisco has been confirmed. I will sing 7 of my songs in the W*A*S*H variety show on Thursday, May 30, 2013 at 7pm. I feel like a caterpillar emerging from my cocoon. For 8 years, and especially 4 of those years, I have been living inside the vortex of motherhood, initiated into new form, cracking open deeper into what compels me from the inside out. |
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