Fear As Fuel

Every time I think, "Who do you think you are to sing?", "You have no business to produce an album", "This is crazy." Every time these thoughts swarm inside me, I breathe. I notice the voices. They are young. They are wounded. I take them in. I try not to attach to them. I thank them for coming and let them know they are welcome. I mother them. I remind myself of how and why this part of me is emerging. This creative energy has been dormant since I was a little girl, aching to come alive for as long as I can remember. It was not ready yet. It is ripe now. When these feelings come, I sing the first verse and chorus of one of my songs, Trust Myself: 

Melt the voices, inside my head
Gentle, it's ok
Tuck them to bed
Nurse the voices slowly
Let them be seen
All they ever wanted was to be free to be

Trust myself
I'm a primate
Trust myself
Mammal instincts
Trust myself
Re-learn to listen
Trust myself
To know what's needed right now

These lyrics help me rest inside the center of my fear. They bring the voices home so I can lean into my creative process and trust that everything is unfolding as it is, and as it must.

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